


Hamanaka Cockblocks Everyone and is Tragically Disowned

by brightblackbird



Series: Hamanaka Fucks It Up For Everybody [2]
Category: Rookies - Morita Masanori & Related Fandoms
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Canon - Manga, Humor, M/M, Post-Canon, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:03:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7030063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brightblackbird/pseuds/brightblackbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The astonishing sequel, feat. magical phones that do whatever I want them to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Invasion

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: aka★**  
Ok so heads up, they're balls deep in each other like 24/7  
But they're both working stiffs now so we should be in the clear for a couple hours  
I "picked up" a spare key last time I was there  
Lol  
ANd their neighbors r like deaf apparently so we're in the clear there too  
Or we can just blame them lol  
Leave a fruit basket w/ their names or w/e

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Who's going to pay for this fruit basket?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
Ok no fruit basket then

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
This is starting to sound like a lot more trouble than it's worth.  
Can you guarantee me a surface in this apartment that they haven't banged on?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
Oh shit  
Well idk  
Maybe they have some garbage bags or something

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I did not get this rich and famous so I could bang on a garbage bag.  
Are you seriously too broke to spring for a hotel?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
I am busting my ass here to build a better life for us  
U fuck

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Could you bust your ass at a job instead?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
AREN'T U THE ONE WHO'S RICH AS BALLS NOW  
MAYBE U COULD DROP A FEW THOUSAND ON A HOTEL ROOM FOR UR DATE  
EVER THINK OF THAT????

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
On YOU?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
U know what actually  
Eat shit  
Go get some practice in w those american grown free range baseballs or w/e  
Cuz those r the only balls ur gonna be seeing 2nite  
WAIT HOLD ON  
U gotta pay my train fare back b4 u do that  
SERIOUSLY DUDE  
I ONLY HAD ENOUGH 4 A 1-WAY BOOTY CALL  
I MEAN UR IN THE FUCKIN ABDL NOW OR W/E  
I KNOW U HAVE SERIOUS BANK

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
The American League of Professional Baseball Clubs, or simply the American League (AL), is one of two leagues that make up Major League Baseball (MLB) in the United States and Canada. It developed from the Western League, a minor league based in the Great Lakes states, which eventually aspired to major league status. It is sometimes called the Junior Circuit because it claimed Major League status for the 1901 season, 25 years after the formation of the National League (the "Senior Circuit").

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
EAT MY ASS!!!!!!!

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Do it yourself.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
MAYBE I'LL SHOW UP WHERE U R  
AND SHARE SOME REAL JUICY GOSSIP W UR TEAMMATES  
HOW ABOUT THAT

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Oh did you have a ticket to get you this far?  
Because it didn't sound like you did.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
R u even  
On the train here

**FROM: Aka★**  
**TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I had a sneaking suspicion this might fall apart  
And what do you know  
Right on schedule  
As usual.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
**TO: Aka★**  
Go shove a baseball up ur dickhole

 

* * *

 

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Hey senpai whats up (*＾Д＾)／

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
who is this

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I know u can see my fuckin name!!!!!

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
let me rephrase  
why is this you

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I was just thinking  
U guys r kind of like my dads now rite  
Haha

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
get out of my home

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
WOULD U LET ME FINISH

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Excuse me I'm the boss around here  
Hamanaka get out of his home

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ur not my real fathers  
U can't tell me what 2 do

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
our home  
Yeah OUR home  
Smiling face  
How do you do that  
^‿^ like this  
Yeah that thing

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
What the fuck r u doing  
Could u at least ruin my life from separate phones

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Sure

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
get out of our home  
^‿^

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ok u know what  
maybe I will just come back when ur asleep  
and curl up on ur doorstep  
and DIE  
Like the little match girl

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
For fuck's sake  
Why are you even in there anyway

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
BC AKABOSHI IS A PRICK WHO DOESN'T APPRECIATE MY HELPFUL SUGGESTIONS

 

* * *

  
**Imaoka shinobu:**  
come pick up your boyfriend  
or whatever he is

**Aka★:**  
Oh God now what?

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
he says you sent him  
we don't want him

**Aka★:**  
Well I don't want him either  
Hey, no offense but shouldn't Hiracchi-senpai be the one texting me?

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
he's scared of you

**Aka★:**  
I mean I just figured that's how things worked with you guys.  
Haha really?

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
a little bit  
.....why are you calling him that?

**Aka★:**  
Hahahahaha  
Oh man  
That's great.

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
I AM NOT  
Don't come over though we don't need you  
I can kick his ass myself

**Aka★:**  
Know what, I'll be right over.

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
don't come over

**Aka★:**  
Have you ever had American beer?  
You'll love it

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
DO NOT COME OVER

**Aka★:**  
See you there

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
......

 

* * *

 

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
NOW LOOK WHAT YOU DID

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
??????????

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
I TOLD YOU I DON'T KNOW WHY HE CALLS ME THAT  
I CAN'T MAKE HIM STOP

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
????????????????????????

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
NOT YOU  
THE FIRST ONE IS YOU  
LOOK WHAT YOU DID

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Could u go back 2 the same phone so I at least know wtf is going on  
In other news, got a chair backed against the door now  
So accept me in2 ur lives or have fun outside 2nite

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
why are you like this?

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I literally will put this chair back where I got it  
And walk out the door rite this second  
If u can honestly tell me Hiratsuka-senpai has never thrown a fit  
And locked u out of the apt  
Exactly like this

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
.......

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ok  
And u've sucked his dick  
So like  
Don't even talk 2 me

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
DO YOU EVEN CARE ABOUT PRESERVING MY MYSTIQUE  
BECAUSE SOMETIMES I GET THE FEELING YOU DON'T

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
you don't have a mystique.

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
OK U SEE WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT  
AND U TRY 2 JUDGE ME

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
you're not as cute as he is

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ohhhhhh my god

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
or at all

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
STOP CALLING ME THAT

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
If u picked 50 ppl off the street and asked them all who was cuter  
Every single one of them would say me

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Uhhhh wrong  
They would all love me  
Tell him how wrong he is

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i don't care what 50 people off the street would say

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yeah exactly  
EXCUSE ME

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ok both of ur horrible opinions aside  
I think I have the upper hand here  
So let me know 2morrow what the stargazing's like out there  
°˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°


	2. The Continuation

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Okay wait new plan  
I just thought of this  
You distract Akaboshi  
And I'll hit him in the head with something  
And then I'll think of the next step after that

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i asked him to come over  
we can't knock him out just because he intimidates you

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yeah but then you said not to  
He's not allowed in if you took it back

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Hiracchi  
you're thinking of vampires

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
U R IN GROUP CHAT  
U DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
NO it's the law  
I read it somewhere

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
yes. in a book about vampires

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Uh we broke up bc he's an asshole  
But Akaboshi could definitely beat both of u up

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
OKAY FINE I will distract him  
If you're too SCARED

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
For the record

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Wait you can't reach his head  
Unless you find a really long stick

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i'm not scared of him, i just don't want to kill him

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Well SOMEBODY is scared here  
And I'M not the one talking about putting a stake through his heart  
Do you even listen to yourself talk

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
CAN U GIVE EACH OTHER'S PHONES BACK  
AND STOP MAKING ME WATCH THIS GAME OF GAY MUSICAL CHAIRS

**Imaoka shinobu** :  
I'm just trying to defend our home

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
ALSO UR STILL IN GROUP CHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
YOU leave then  
Why are you watching us talk that's creepy

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
And let u stake my boyfriend????

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
no one is staking anybody.

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Well not with that attitude

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
WAIT he's coming here????

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
apparently

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Like  
2 get me????

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yes

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
REALLY

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yes he's going to carry you off for a night of romance wherever your gay little heart desires  
You have to come outside though

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
no, he just found out Hiracchi's kind of scared of him

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Or he can't carry you off  
WHY DID YOU SAY THAT  
WE ALMOST HAD HIM

**HAMANAKA ☀️** :  
UGH I FORGOT WHICH OF U WAS SAYING YES  
ALSO FUCK U BOTH  
Give each other's fuckin phones back  
Ur like the fairy tale statues  
I have 2 keep track of u or I get confused

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
The WHAT

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
THE STATUES  
OR MAYBE THEY'RE ROBOTS?????

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
.......

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
And 1 always lies, and 1 always tells the truth?????  
And u have 2 ask a certain question and they explode, and let u keep going 2 the end of the level

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Do you know or care what he's talking about

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
no

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Okay. Let's move on

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Or maybe they're old men  
Or elves

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
OH so now we're old men???

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Or oni????  
But they're both ASSHOLES  
LIKE U 2  
AND MY BOYFRIEND

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Are you drinking my beer

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
NO FUCK U  
I'M JUST SAD!!!!!!!  
SWITCH  
UR  
PHONES  
BACK

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
No I like this one  
Hey where do you keep all those dick pics I send you

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i don't.

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
WHAT

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i need the space for pictures of your face

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
OH good  
Better actually

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Nice dodge

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Haha wrong  
He's got like a million pictures of my face in here  
Maybe more than I do

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i'm not sure that's possible

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Hey there's a bunch I don't have  
Can we put this whole thing on hold while I send them to my phone

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
we can do that later  
together  
so you don't delete them by accident again

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
WELL DONT LET ME FORGET  
These are all really good  
I mean they ARE of me  
But still

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i guess i know your good angles

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
I don't have bad angles

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
you have a few  
just a few  
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
UggggGGGHHHHHHH

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
What are you doing here

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I'm gonna barf

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
YOU are just jealous  
Because no one has a phone full of your face

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
YEAH I AM  
BC MY BOYFRIEND IS AN ASSHOLE  
WHO IS LIKE  
ASHAMED OF ME  
AND WON'T SEND ME ANY PICTURES  
AND I BET HE DOESN'T KEEP ANY OF THE ONES I SEND HIM

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Well I don't know why he'd want any pictures of YOU  
But he probably should if you're dating and all  
Just delete what he's got and replace them with yourself  
That's what I'd do  
If these weren't all of me

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Do u find anything weird abt those sentences u just typed

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Uhhh no  
Why

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Ok  
Anyway  
Shouldn't Imaoka-senpai be insulting 1 or the other of us by now

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
He says he's trying to think of something that isn't "that's understandable"  
He says he couldn't

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Thank u both  
So much  
I'm going 2 leave the kitchen sink running til ur apartment floods

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
do not do that

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Don't do that you weird little shit  
We're almost there anyway

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Hey jw were u always this much of a prick????

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yes he was

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Or did u just like  
Blossom after high school  
Oh I get it  
Ur jealous bc my boyfriend is rich and famous

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i'm jealous of you being inside my apartment

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
And could beat ur boyfriend up

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
I don't need to date someone who's rich and famous and can beat people up  
I can provide all of that myself  
Duh

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
i don't want him to be rich and famous, i want him to be happy

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Um babe he was talking to me

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
NO I was not, I KNOW u were always a prick  
Do u ever get sick of this  
, Imaoka-senpai, who is the one I am talking to

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
not really

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
I don't know what you two are babbling about  
But don't let him fool you he's just quiet  
Like a viper  
He takes advantage of my kind and generous nature  
My endless capacity to forgive

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
your being in love with me

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
STOP

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
LATERRRRRRR

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I am going 2 barf on ur rug  
I can't believe u both get laid more than me

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
Yeah you bet your ass we do  
Anyway YOU keep provoking him  
Go bother your own boyfriend  
Go barf on his rug

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
WOULD I BE IN HERE IF I COULD DO THAT??????  
I CAN'T BOTHER HIM BC HE HATES ME!!!!!!!!!!  
AND IS ASHAMED OF ME EVEN THO ALL I DO IS TRY TO BE HELPFUL  
ABOUT WAYS WE CAN FUCK IN UR APARTMENT  
BC HE WON'T SPEND ANY MONEY ON ME  
AND DOESN'T WANT TO BE SEEN W ME IN PUBLIC  
WHERE DID U 2 GO??????????????????

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Uh sorry Hiracchi can't come to the phone right now, he's too busy being awesome  
Just kidding it's me  
We switched back while you were whining

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I'M NOT WHINING  
I HAVE A LEGIT PROBLEM  
UR SUPPOSED 2 B MY FUCKIN SENPAI AND HELP ME W/ THIS KIND OF SHIT

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
And you're supposed to be polite and reverent  
But I HAVE gathered a certain amount of wisdom over the years  
And that wisdom tells me that you need to remember what it was that brought you two together in the first place  
Whatever the hell that could possibly be  
What was it

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I'm not telling either of U  
Bc u'll be assholes

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Well then I guess you're fucked huh?  
Why are the curtains down  
Where are you

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
I told u, I'm in the chair  
That's propped against the door  
The big one that's like hella comfortable  
HEY why don't u tell me what u 2 do when you fight

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
We don't fight  
I'm very tolerant of all his dumb bullshit

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i wait a few seconds for him to get mad at someone else

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
K well that doesn't help ME bc I'M not dating a goldfish

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Don't call your senpai a goldfish  
What does that even mean  
Are you gonna let him get away with calling you that???

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Forget I asked  
What ~brought u 2 together~ in the first place, anyway

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah Imaoka how did we get together  
Tell the story

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i noticed he was acting stranger than usual and i asked what was wrong  
and he cried a little and said i wouldn't understand

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
NOT THAT PART YOU FUCK

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
then he said he had this friend who had this problem, so i knew he meant himself, and then he panicked and tripped over a chair  
well that's what happened

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
THE PART WHERE I WON YOUR HEART  
HOW DID I DO IT

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
oh  
i don't know, it was a long time ago  
i guess you just acted like yourself  
like Hiracchi

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Well I better not do that

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yeah you couldn't pull this off

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Oh wait u mean I should act like ME

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
no

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Don't do that

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Hang on what was that thing about the chair

**Imaoka shinobu:**  
i was worried his leg would bruise, so i tried to roll up his pant leg  
and he got really shy, and he said

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
NEVER MIND  
I don't want 2 know

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
None of this happened  
Also I didn't cry

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
But uhhh ur not talking about MY chair  
Rite

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
Yes we are  
We banged on it  
You need to put it back where it was right now  
And never touch it again

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Joke's on u, I couldn't even move it in the first place

**REAL☆Hiratsuka:**  
HA

**HAMANAKA ☀️:**  
Shit


	3. The Uncockblockening

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
QUIT KNOCKING DUMBASS  
THE DOOR'S LOCKED  
AND IT'S STAYING LOCKED

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
For fuck's sake.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
My dads agree that u suck  
And they have taken me in to nurture and protect me in their loving bosom

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Couldn't get you out the door, huh?  
'Bosom,' really.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
And we r taking u 2 court so I can get the child support I deserve

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I think you spent a little too much time with Hiracchi-senpai today.  
Look:  
I don't want to break up.  
I just don't want to fuck on a garbage bag in someone else's apartment.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
I didn't say A garbage bag  
There could be more than 1

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
That might actually be worse.  
The point is, I'm better than that.  
And so are you.  
Probably.  
Also you need to stop sending me dick pics at 3 AM.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
I'VE SENT U LIKE 2 DICK PICS  
EVER  
MAYBE 3  
5 TOPS

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Last month you sent me  
31 pictures of your dick.  
All between 2:58 and 3:20 in the morning.  
That's 4 PM here, but honestly that's not much better.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
That's just like 1 every day  
That's not that bad  
Ur daily dick pic

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
It was June.  
You also sent me 2 that were just empty bags of potato chips.  
I don't know what those were supposed to mean to me.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
WELL AT LEAST I'M SENDING U SOMETHING  
POETIC FRAGMENTS OF MY LIFE  
I CAN'T HELP IT IF U DON'T WANT ANY PICTURES OF MY FACE ON UR PHONE  
BC UR ASHAMED OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Where did you get that idea?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
I CHECKED UR PHONE DUMBASS!!!!!

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
You've never looked at my phone  
Because we're in different countries most of the time.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
UHHHHHHHH WRONG????????  
OH WAIT  
Hiratsuka-senpai  
might have been the 1 who said that  
I think  
maybe

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Okay  
And back here in reality, what gave you that idea?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
WELL WHY DON'T I HAVE ANY OF U THEN????????????  
OH RIGHT the vampire thing!!!

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
The  
What  
???

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
No wait  
that was him again

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
....Okay.  
Here's the deal.  
The last time I sent you a picture of me, you sold it to a tabloid for like $30.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Uhhhh wrong  
They paid me in real money

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Dollars  
are real money.  
And I am worth a lot more of them than 30.  
What did you even spend it on?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
If I tell u I think we'll fight again

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Are you starting to get my point?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Well okay I'm sorry I sold u for 30 dollar things  
And I'm sorry I told u to shove a baseball up ur dickhole

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I'm sorry you said that too.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Why  
Did u actually do it??????  
Wtf is wrong with u???

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
NO, I didn't do it  
It was just an unpleasant moment in my life.  
Also, you set us up to exchange apologies, but I didn't do anything wrong.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Except be an ASSHOLE  
U could be less of an asshole.

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Maybe sometimes.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Definitely always

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
...Maybe.  
So how was the evening with your dads?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Don't get me started  
It's like talking to a brick wall  
With another brick wall behind u  
And they're both reflecting each other like that infinite mirror thing  
And sometimes they throw bricks at u  
From their weird asshole brick dimension  
U know that feeling

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Vaguely.  
Where are they, anyway?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Idk they're hiding or sulking or some damn thing  
They got all mad bc I said u could beat them up

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Well, I wouldn't beat them up at dinner.  
I just wanted to get some quality time in with Hiracchi-senpai.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Imaoka-senpai might poison u if u keep calling him that

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I brought beer and everything.  
Oh, please.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
No seriously  
He already gets all pissy whenever I show up 4 some reason

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
Oh what, is that like their special thing?  
Are we interrupting something?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Yeah they're like going all black hole w/ each other just bc they finally hooked up or w/e  
I can't believe ur ashamed of me when they exist

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
I'm not ashamed of you  
...per se.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT FUCKING MEANS!!!!!!!  
I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
You've been known to do some shameful things  
Like the garbage bag idea.  
You need to try having higher standards.

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
U r like  
The highest standard thing in my life.

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
And you are definitely  
mid-range in mine.  
And you could be higher if you tried.  
So?  
Are you about ready to run away from home?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Maybe  
Give me a second

* * *

 

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Imaoka shinobu**  
Hey r there any "clean" surfaces in here  
If u know what I mean

**FROM: Imaoka shinobu**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
no

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Imaoka shinobu**  
Damn  
I guess we gotta leave then  
Ok fine  
U can keep ur garbage bags  
U clearly need them more than we do 

* * *

 

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
R u SURE u can't spring 4 a hotel???  
Oh hang on

**FROM: Aka★**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
If you promise not to bring up the garbage bags again.  
?

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: Aka★**  
Actually know what, nvm, my treat 2nite  
d=(´▽｀)=b

* * *

  
**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: REAL☆Hiratsuka**  
I'll bring ur wallet back asap senpai, promise (*＾∀ﾟ)ъ

**FROM: REAL☆Hiratsuka**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
RRRRRRHHGHGHGHGHH!!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!  
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: REAL☆Hiratsuka**  
Hey we left u guys the beer  
Fair trade  
Thx 4 getting me laid (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑

**FROM: REAL☆Hiratsuka**  
 **TO: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
YEAH WELL  
I STILL GET LAID MORE THAN YOU  
AND I DONT NEED MY WALLET TO DO IT  
SO HA

**FROM: HAMANAKA ☀️**  
 **TO: REAL☆Hiratsuka**  
Have I mentioned that u guys r complete animals?  
L8r  
|ω・｀)ノ  
|・｀)ノ  
|ノ  
|


End file.
